autism, blog post, Blog Posts, female with autism, personal art, Personal Post, Personal Thoughts, Poem, Prose, Unapologetic

Thanks Anyway, Circler Reasoning

Muzzled tight upon my face, replaced with known “common grace.”

Tossing aside your empty beer, not as “compassionate” as you appear.

Used excuses “got through to you.”

Thanks anyway, I’ll be in a zombie zoom room.

See something, say something? “Facts checked” or is it fat checks?

Do you even know the difference between, “civil city riots”, “mostly peaceful”?

King’s echoed “content of character”, shat upon.

Self-masturbatory, “masters degree”, in the art of flies;

Flung in faces of rotting dry eyes.

Setting sun over a broken mirror.

Distributing disabled water, Molotov lit hate;

A reflection of abomination fate.

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His Ways

You God, are The Way,

Not a way, nor any truth, not any life.

You God are life in abundance.

Your thoughts are not mine,

Yet, You know the thoughts you have towards me.

Giving me a hope and a future in You Alone.

For You Alone God, Are The Way Maker,

You Alone Jesus, are Divine.

Your Love is sweeter than wine!

There is no High, like the Most High God.

You a Humble, Gentle but Just and Loving God.

Your Ways are Pure, in You Alone I am secure!

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blog post, Blog Posts, honest, I need sleep, Memoir, memory lane, Personal Post, Personal Thoughts, Poem, Prose, Reality Check, sucks, Tired, Unapologetic

I Couldn’t Find Him

I dreamt last night of Gregory.

I was searching for him for I had questions.

But I couldn’t find him.

I called to him but he didn’t answer because he was gone.

I called to him but he was silent and I missed him.

I missed the strength of his presence,

the reliability of his knowledge,

the solidity of his person,

the steadiness of his gaze,

and the sound of his voice.

I called again, and slowly, in his own time, in his own way, far away, invisible, he answered.

Yes, Greg said. What is it? 

His voice answered.

Where have you gone? I asked. I need you.

Are you sure? He answered.

Yes, I said. I have questions for you. 

Greg you, the hope and the despair, 

the right and the wrong,

the light and the dark, 

the question and the answer. 

What do I do?

You carry on, Greg said.

How? 

You keep asking the questions. 

But, what is the answer? I asked.

I’ve shown you the answer:

The hope, the despair, the right, the wrong, the light, and the dark. 

All of it. The answer is My Love. 

In Memory of: Greggory

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abortion, blog post, Blog Posts, child sex trafficking, generation x, honest, Poem, Prose, Reality Check

Swan Song of 2021

Mighty brave, might somehow seem,

Of this child’s millstone swing.

Rest today, swept away,

Choking out freedom’s say.

Swung low, kid not mine,

Stinging sweet of hellish grind.

Black and bluish touch to drink,

Keeping bones of rake-hell weep.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Matthew 18:1-6

-dedicated to the lost children of perdition-

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Reconnect

Everyone has an opinion to type,

Even a fool can spot this blight.

When you don’t take time to shut your mouth,

Your words alone will wear you down.

More hearing less talking, face in a phone,

Get out meet humans feel less alone.

It’s sad, no life is had,

Nothing save digital pollution, pathetic solution.

We’re more connected, but further apart.

Let’s physically reconnect and restart.

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Falling

The wind combs through the leaves,
There is a chorus of greys and greens.
Seeing small tethered things.
Seeing birds beat their wings.
Hearing blowers and mowers.
Hearing silence and violence.
Shots ring out a few blocks away,
No matter child go out and play.
Sirens blare, rade the air.
I hear an argument next door,
I hear two voices snarl and roar.
A radio flys away,
Escaping to the light of day.
The sun does not last too long,
By 4 pm it’s set and gone.

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My Confession

I leave behind the approval of others,
for the approval of God.

I hide my face in His,
I side with Him.

I’ve lost it, here’s the line I’ve crossed it.

I cross over into His insanity and say Goodbye to everything and everyone else.

Goodby mom and dad, friends and former lovers.

I press on to the higher, climb.

I press on and cling to Jesus as a cat clings to their owner, claws in.

I push my way into God nose first, I fight to see Him. I won’t be refused, and I won’t relent for He has proven Himself worthy of my gumption.

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Underexposed

The euphony drama, the lead stringed tool of solar day-spirit.

An undertow shows a drop of charm.

The seductive occurrence, a sound that draws the other clutch, that semiautomatic.

Exclusive turn figure, off-white, gaunt melodies charred fire tap imagery.

Stumble inside, caving half faced behind, private-held perverse soft limbs.

Brief of breath, the temper bled out.

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Past Self

I’m the pretty thing that time forgot, I’ve been left to sing and rot.

I unmarked, the one you miss, I’m the closing clawing fist.

I’m a soul to those of foe, once seen back to and fro.

Deuce deranged, tetrad missed.

Wailing mess, silent twist.

Remember the time, we use to dance?

You the stab and I the chance?

Shredded arms in shifting skin;

Dressing gown of braided sin.

Yes you the thing that I forgot,

You the act unlearned, untaught.

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