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How Long Oh Lord

There isn’t going back to normal. We are not in the middle of anything remotely normal. Our choices are drying up, from drought in the west to the crops that fail in the bread basket of America. Do people apply their hearts to knowledge? Do they seek the ways of the Lord? Who is the accuser of the brethren?

Satan.

Look at anything through the eyes of God, behold He is the Lord my God nothing is too hard for Him, He is the Lord Who dose not change, He knows the end from the beginning. No evil will befall me nether shall any plague come near my dwelling. I make the Most High my Dwelling Place.

My Depression has been just giving me hell, and yet, and yet. God, and yet God. Lord you know the longings of my heart and nothing is too hard for You.

I take the shield of faith and I quench every fiery dart that the wicked one brings against me. Ephesians 6:16

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How Can We?

How is it that we as a “civilized society” can have humane no kill shelters for animals and yet by the same token not protect our own young from the kill shelters of abortion clinics?

How does this say we are “progressing” as “humans united” “build back better” and yet we’re very much divided.

I don’t care what color, class, creed or socio economic background that someone comes from.

What happened to the individual taking responsibility for their actions?

Instead it’s pass go do not collect collect $200, avoid jail time, a slap on the wrist and nothing happens and yet the underlined hemorrhaging continues while the zombie “you don’t have to take responsibility stimulus checks” transfusions keep the war machine limping along.

I choose to see people by the contents of their character not the color of their skin, their political or religious affiliation or their sexuality.

I hold myself to these standards as well.

And I sure as heck am an advocate for life! I’m pro-human! I’m anti-human trafficking I’m anti-Adrenochrome drinking, mad cow diseased, drunken on power, political whores.

Because in reality, as an old time Dixiecrat from the 1950s once said when asked what candidate he should vote for, a reply of “Well hell son, it don’t matter if it’s Republican or Democrat we own them all.”

I will not bow down to Antifa, Black Lives Matter, KKK, proud boys or any hate infested, deplorable organization.

I’m also going to call a spade a spade and using any tragedy for the political gain to justify the means of a party gaining advantage is disgusting and despicable.

Have you ever asked yourself the question, why is it when a liberal’s in office there are alway multiple mass shootings or military tragedies? (Hello, Columbine and Black Hawk down)

Things have happened under Republican presidents as well.

There are people that actually believe to this day, only two towers fell!

I witnessed the last two of them fall in live action when I was in high school.

I remember thinking why the hell is this third building falling?

Many to this day that believe Timothy McVeigh was the one responsible for the Oklahoma City bombing, when in fact he was the CIA’s fall man. “Never let a good crisis go to waste”

A convenient out for a 10 year ban on assault rifles which was ready to go before hand and signed into law by then President Clinton. “We must pass this bill first, before we can know what’s in it.”

Why have we not learned from history? Why do we keep bleeding? Why are there nauseating theatrics on both sides of the aisle?

Where the hell are the men and women with the spines to do something?

Where are the people that are “by the people and for the people” that they “represent?”

How does this say we are “progressing” as “humans united” “build back better” and yet we’re very much divided.

I don’t care what color, class, creed or socio economic background that someone comes from.

What happened to the individual taking responsibility for their actions?

Instead it’s pass go do not collect collect $200, avoid jail time, a slap on the wrist and nothing happens and yet the underlined hemorrhaging continues while the zombie “you don’t have to take responsibility stimulus checks” transfusions keep the war machine limping along.

I choose to see people by the content of their character not the color of their skin, their political or religious affiliation or their sexuality.

I hold myself to these standards as well.

And I sure as hell am an advocate for life! I’m pro-human! I’m anti-human trafficking I’m anti-Adrenochrome drinking, mad cow diseased, drunken on power, political whores.

Because in reality as an old time Dixiecrat from the 1950s once said when asked what candidate he should vote for a reply of “Well hell son, it don’t matter if it’s Republican or Democrat we own them all.”

I will not bow down to Antifa, Black Lives Matter, KKK proud boys or any deplorable organization.

I’m also going to call a spade a spade and using any tragedy for the political gain to justify the means of a party gaining advantage is disgusting and despicable.

Have you ever asked yourself the question why is it when a liberal’s in office there are alway multiple mass shootings and military tragedies?(Hello, Columbine and black hawk down)

Things have happened under Republican presidents as well.

There are people that actually believe to this day, only two towers fell!

I witnessed the last two of them fall in live action when I was in high school.

I remember thinking why the hell is this third building falling?

Many to this day that believe Timothy McVeigh was the one responsible for the Oklahoma City bombing, when in fact he was the CIA’s fall man. “Never waste a good tragedy”

A convenient out for a 10 year ban on assault rifles which was ready to go before hand and signed into law by then President Clinton. “We must pass this bill first, before we can know what’s in it.”

Why have we not learned from history? Why do we keep bleeding? Why are there nauseating theatrics on both sides of the aisle?

Where the hell are the men and women with the spines to do something?

Where are the people that are “by the people and for the people” that they “represent?”

No longer are we a State of United Americans.

We are a banana republic, a lawless society that once was and we have passed our sins along to future generations; that is if there are any future generations to be had.

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Yeshua and Suicide

The passing of Jarrid Wilson three days ago stings like hell. What stings even more are the lies being told by those in authority with certainty. As many of you are aware, I have depression, autism, angisity and self harm. I’m not the same woman I was 9 years ago after I graduated from Mercy Multiplied in May of 2013.


I do know this much, the enemy’s biggest cons and lies start in the mind, depression/suicide/cutting etc. doesn’t care what background you come from how old you are. It’s hard as hell fighting daily with the Lord by my side, he has been helping me work through memories that I put in the basement of my mind and marked don’t ever open.


The problem with boxes that are never opened is they do open at some point of crisis usually. I’ve been in faith based counseling for the last three months and it has helped tremendously.


Having someone listen to me, having God be the third party in the sessions I am in makes a huge difference.


God has set me free it’s a painful pruning season, and sometimes I hurt so much from the shame of memories from college and the years that I was out of my head it’s hard to look at even with God by my side.


There are days that I wanted a curtain call let’s wrap this up hannah, but God. There is a huge attack on humanity regarding the spirit of violence and suicide. I would say sense 2014 on ward I’ve seen a dramatic increase in the amount of people passing away by their own hands.


This is why we walk by faith and not by sight, for the testing season I was crying out to God in my quiet time with him, closed heavens. He was there, but I didn’t sense him.
Only this past week has it dawned on me the memories I’ve been releasing to God, one at a time, slowly at a pace that doesn’t overwhelm me or do me in. I thank God for revealing that to me. Because now I can see the lies for what they are, lies. The enemy doesn’t fight fair, and it’s a fight like it or not.


We can’t be absentee on the battlefield when Yeshua has called us to make disciples of all men and women, going to the dirty places, the hurt places, and being the feet upon the mountains that bring the Good News of Jesus.


This is ugly, this hurts, it sucks the big one, and the enemy has tried to silence me. I’m not going to shut up about God or about how He has loved on me when I can’t love on myself. He’s pulled my hands back from and away from ending my own life more times then many know.


The good news of Jesus is, He knows, He cares and damn it I’m not going to bow to depression, or suicidal ideation! Just as passionately as I’d give my life for God, that and then some He’s passionate about me living out the pages yet to be filled in the book of my life written by me, read and reread by the Ancient of Days in His courtroom library. (I’m going to be in heavens record keeping law libraries for a long time when I graduate to heaven.)

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You’re Asking

And during the wars, we decided dancing was the better escape then victory on some unknown field.

A world war prior trenches were made consumption overtook us, and we lost our step, our rhythm was off, a march of hile Hitlers instead of passionate one two three fours.

Snapped turned into a world war two fiaschi famengo dance.

Bodies line the streets, these that once passon sucked out of them.

Red lipstick is a females war paint. Beware her charms and her bite.

A painted face can call to righteous war, or can be a seductive blush, red herring.

Meant to draw others into war drum wake.

I dream in black and white, colors are plush and rare in the landscape of my mind.

I see a scarlet chid’s coat, I see painted white ‘keep out’ signs. ‘No Nazeratiens allowed’ ‘Irish need not apply’ ‘Keine Juden erlaubt’ 

For we are just strangers passing through this hell hole. Our home now is in heaven.

We are to Love what God Loves and hate what He hates.

God hates sin, God aphours the proud but gives grace to the humble.

God is oh so very loving God isn’t pigged sloppy grace that is peddled by many behind pulpits.

God is love, He’s also Just. God will return again with a rod of iron and the government shall indeed be upon His Shoulders.

Rulers will crawl to His throne, nations will fall under Him, they will be to give homage to the God of Abraham, Israel, and Jacob.

He is the Son of David, the LION of the tribe of Juda.

He Rores as a procession before His return.

He will make all things right, He will open the books and The Ancient of Days will take a seat on His judicial bench.

Those of us who are His children will have what we’ve done put through the mercy seat fire.

All mankind, women, men young and old slave and free alike have a Devine Court Date with The Almighty.

What will your answer be?

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My Soul Longs

Your Heart turns over,

Your sympathy extends.

Your North Wind opens,

Your Wings sing me in.

Thank You God;

Your Heartbeat I feel.

Your Grip is snug,

Your Touch I steal.

Written this morning 7/19/16

 

I’ve been through the grief of losing my dog piled on-top of recent events etc. and just it’s been heavy.

God’s got me, He sews  me into His Side beneath His Wings.

Real life pain, God carrying me through this valley until I dance on the high places with hinds feet.

I earnestly long for others would take the time to spend with the Lord.

I want to share the Love He gives away so freely.

But we have choice, dear readers I encourage you to seek the Lord. He said ‘blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.’

It’s true, call upon the Lord from the depths of who you are.

These are not just poetic words, I type with a bitter sweet ache and tears of grief and yet a knowing that Daddy’s got me.

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God’s Detours are Painful

When the Teacher (God) gives test, there isn’t talking.

Allow God to develop your character in the detour’s of life.

Depending on your willingness to yield to God and obey His leading you can take the 10 year detour or the 1 month detour.

The areas that are tests will strip you, get worse and all hell will break loose.

When you are wrapped up in something God will strip you down so that He will become the center of your attention.

And as you call upon Him for help He will lift you out. Because you see it’s not about ‘us’ we die daily to us. And live in and through God.

And Yet:

[I do it because, though He slay me, yet will I wait for and trust Him and] behold, He will slay me; I have no hope—nevertheless, I will maintain and argue my ways before Him and even to His face. Job:13:15

Later after God responded to Job the response was:

Then Job said to the Lord,

 I know that You can do all things, and that no thought or purpose of Yours can be restrained or thwarted.

 [You said to me] Who is this that darkens and obscures counsel [by words] without knowledge? Therefore [I now see] I have [rashly] uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.

[I had virtually said to You what You have said to me:] Hear, I beseech You, and I will speak; I will demand of You, and You declare to me.

I had heard of You [only] by the hearing of the ear, but now my [spiritual] eye sees You.

Therefore I loathe [my words] and abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes.

Job 42:1-6

Remember when Job had everything taken from him from God? When Job’s wife said ‘Curse God and die.’ The end of the story oh the end, hold out dear one’s for God’s breakthrough for He is our prize He is our Higher Calling Pressing onward and upward if we endure with God’s help allow Him to carry us when we cannot.

This happens:

 And the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning; for he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys.

 He had also seven sons and three daughters.

And he called the name of the first Jemimah, and the name of the second Keziah, and the name of the third Keren-happuch.

And in all the land there were no women so fair as the daughters of Job, and their father gave them inheritance among their brothers.

After this, Job lived 140 years, and saw his sons and his sons’ sons, even to four generations.

 So Job died, an old man and full of days.

Job 42:12-17

Hold out to the end beloved, having done all stand.

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Setting Aside Time With God

Here are some simple suggestions for preparing yourself to meet God as you engage with the Scriptures:

Pick a time: Set aside a specific amount of time in your weekly calendar to engage the Bible. Just like in any relationship, you have to spend time with God to know him. This is probably the biggest downfall for more people than anything else in the whole process of Scripture engagement: we just don’t make the time. As the saying goes, “We don’t plan to fail, we fail to plan.” Check your motivation here. Make time because of the joy that comes when you actually get to come close to God (Psalm 84:2, 10). Setting up time to meet with God is not a “should and ought,” it is a “I get too!”
Pick a good time: Make your time with the Bible a “prime time” of your day—not when you are the most exhausted or distracted. God calls us to give him our “first fruits,” our best, not our leftovers.
Pick a place: Go wherever you naturally go when you want to focus on something important. For some this will be a quiet place, for others a busy place. Some like to have music playing. Going into a specific room for your reading and praying is a practice that Jesus encouraged (Matthew 6:5-6). You know yourself, do what works.
Get rid of distractions: Get rid of as many things as you can that usually distract you. Be honest here; what is likely to take your mind away from engaging the Bible? Our world seems to be designed to distract us from focusing on almost anything, but with diligent effort, you will grow in your attention to the Bible.
Quiet your heart: Take the first minute or two of your time with the Bible and just think about what you’re going to do. You are coming to God’s Word to meet him.
Pray: Briefly ask God to teach you, to meet you, and to bless your time in his Word. Ask for the Holy Spirit to illuminate (1 Corinthians 2:6-16) the passage for you. Commit to God that, with his strength, you will obey what you read.
Start: Check out the many different Scripture engagement practices described on this website. (Bible Gateway)  Pick one and get going. It is better to start small and continue the practice than to start with huge goals, get disappointed, and stop. Something is better than nothing!
Keep moving: If you get distracted or tired, don’t worry or criticize yourself. Guilt won’t keep you motivated very long. Simply bring your mind back to the passage and start reading again.

Source: Scripture Engagement

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Be Slow to Anger

If anyone teaches differently and does not agree to the sound precepts of our Lord Yeshua the Messiah and to the doctrine that is in keeping with godliness, he is swollen with conceit and understands nothing.

Instead, he has a morbid desire for controversies and word-battles, out of which come jealousy, dissension, insults, evil suspicions,  and constant wrangling among people whose minds no longer function properly and who have been deprived of the truth, so that they imagine that religion is a road to riches.

1 Timothy 6:3-5

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I Charge You.

Don’t forget those that are suffering for their faith in God. This rings in my mind quiet often. Do not forget. I am thankful that I can go to a house of worship without fear of being followed or killed for it. I am thankful that I wasn’t lined up on a beach and executed for being a Christian.

I can’t forget other brother’s and sister’s for we are of the Body of Messiah, we are the Bride He is returning for.

Make no mistake, wherever God has called me I will go. More then likely and lately it’s meant dyeing to what ‘I’ want, and living for what God wills.

That is a kind of martyrdom too, only the intentional denial of self even when self is screaming blood murder.

I urge you fellow readers to come to the One who has open arms and kindness to you. I challenge you readers to stand up for what is right, not to change your moral code based on popular opinion but even in the face of death, you stand firm.

Having done all, stand.

Fight the good fight of faith.

 

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