blog post, Blog Posts, Choose you this day, Convicting, Personal Post, Personal Thoughts, Poem

Paper Pants

It’s OK to have black pants with a red tie,
It’s OK to crawl and scream out, ADONAI!

It’s OK to be held and yell out God’s Name.
It’s OK because He’s felt the same.

He’s been betrayed, bruised and cast aside.
At His lowest He was thrice denied.

He was counted among the poor, lost and broken.
As He hung on the Cross, His Life our Token.

To the one criminal who cursed God and died,
And the other who was with Him in Paradise.

Ages have passed and nothing’s changed,
Some still choose to curse His Name.

But sister nightbirde whispered in my ear,
“God’s on the bathroom floor, and to the broken draws near.”

In memory of nightbirde and inspired by my recent 72 hour hospital stay.

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How Can We?

How is it that we as a “civilized society” can have humane no kill shelters for animals and yet by the same token not protect our own young from the kill shelters of abortion clinics?

How does this say we are “progressing” as “humans united” “build back better” and yet we’re very much divided.

I don’t care what color, class, creed or socio economic background that someone comes from.

What happened to the individual taking responsibility for their actions?

Instead it’s pass go do not collect collect $200, avoid jail time, a slap on the wrist and nothing happens and yet the underlined hemorrhaging continues while the zombie “you don’t have to take responsibility stimulus checks” transfusions keep the war machine limping along.

I choose to see people by the contents of their character not the color of their skin, their political or religious affiliation or their sexuality.

I hold myself to these standards as well.

And I sure as heck am an advocate for life! I’m pro-human! I’m anti-human trafficking I’m anti-Adrenochrome drinking, mad cow diseased, drunken on power, political whores.

Because in reality, as an old time Dixiecrat from the 1950s once said when asked what candidate he should vote for, a reply of “Well hell son, it don’t matter if it’s Republican or Democrat we own them all.”

I will not bow down to Antifa, Black Lives Matter, KKK, proud boys or any hate infested, deplorable organization.

I’m also going to call a spade a spade and using any tragedy for the political gain to justify the means of a party gaining advantage is disgusting and despicable.

Have you ever asked yourself the question, why is it when a liberal’s in office there are alway multiple mass shootings or military tragedies? (Hello, Columbine and Black Hawk down)

Things have happened under Republican presidents as well.

There are people that actually believe to this day, only two towers fell!

I witnessed the last two of them fall in live action when I was in high school.

I remember thinking why the hell is this third building falling?

Many to this day that believe Timothy McVeigh was the one responsible for the Oklahoma City bombing, when in fact he was the CIA’s fall man. “Never let a good crisis go to waste”

A convenient out for a 10 year ban on assault rifles which was ready to go before hand and signed into law by then President Clinton. “We must pass this bill first, before we can know what’s in it.”

Why have we not learned from history? Why do we keep bleeding? Why are there nauseating theatrics on both sides of the aisle?

Where the hell are the men and women with the spines to do something?

Where are the people that are “by the people and for the people” that they “represent?”

How does this say we are “progressing” as “humans united” “build back better” and yet we’re very much divided.

I don’t care what color, class, creed or socio economic background that someone comes from.

What happened to the individual taking responsibility for their actions?

Instead it’s pass go do not collect collect $200, avoid jail time, a slap on the wrist and nothing happens and yet the underlined hemorrhaging continues while the zombie “you don’t have to take responsibility stimulus checks” transfusions keep the war machine limping along.

I choose to see people by the content of their character not the color of their skin, their political or religious affiliation or their sexuality.

I hold myself to these standards as well.

And I sure as hell am an advocate for life! I’m pro-human! I’m anti-human trafficking I’m anti-Adrenochrome drinking, mad cow diseased, drunken on power, political whores.

Because in reality as an old time Dixiecrat from the 1950s once said when asked what candidate he should vote for a reply of “Well hell son, it don’t matter if it’s Republican or Democrat we own them all.”

I will not bow down to Antifa, Black Lives Matter, KKK proud boys or any deplorable organization.

I’m also going to call a spade a spade and using any tragedy for the political gain to justify the means of a party gaining advantage is disgusting and despicable.

Have you ever asked yourself the question why is it when a liberal’s in office there are alway multiple mass shootings and military tragedies?(Hello, Columbine and black hawk down)

Things have happened under Republican presidents as well.

There are people that actually believe to this day, only two towers fell!

I witnessed the last two of them fall in live action when I was in high school.

I remember thinking why the hell is this third building falling?

Many to this day that believe Timothy McVeigh was the one responsible for the Oklahoma City bombing, when in fact he was the CIA’s fall man. “Never waste a good tragedy”

A convenient out for a 10 year ban on assault rifles which was ready to go before hand and signed into law by then President Clinton. “We must pass this bill first, before we can know what’s in it.”

Why have we not learned from history? Why do we keep bleeding? Why are there nauseating theatrics on both sides of the aisle?

Where the hell are the men and women with the spines to do something?

Where are the people that are “by the people and for the people” that they “represent?”

No longer are we a State of United Americans.

We are a banana republic, a lawless society that once was and we have passed our sins along to future generations; that is if there are any future generations to be had.

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Are You as committed to spreading love?, bible, blog post, Blog Posts, Christian Living, Personal Post, Personal Thoughts

Yeshua and Suicide

The passing of Jarrid Wilson three days ago stings like hell. What stings even more are the lies being told by those in authority with certainty. As many of you are aware, I have depression, autism, angisity and self harm. I’m not the same woman I was 9 years ago after I graduated from Mercy Multiplied in May of 2013.


I do know this much, the enemy’s biggest cons and lies start in the mind, depression/suicide/cutting etc. doesn’t care what background you come from how old you are. It’s hard as hell fighting daily with the Lord by my side, he has been helping me work through memories that I put in the basement of my mind and marked don’t ever open.


The problem with boxes that are never opened is they do open at some point of crisis usually. I’ve been in faith based counseling for the last three months and it has helped tremendously.


Having someone listen to me, having God be the third party in the sessions I am in makes a huge difference.


God has set me free it’s a painful pruning season, and sometimes I hurt so much from the shame of memories from college and the years that I was out of my head it’s hard to look at even with God by my side.


There are days that I wanted a curtain call let’s wrap this up hannah, but God. There is a huge attack on humanity regarding the spirit of violence and suicide. I would say sense 2014 on ward I’ve seen a dramatic increase in the amount of people passing away by their own hands.


This is why we walk by faith and not by sight, for the testing season I was crying out to God in my quiet time with him, closed heavens. He was there, but I didn’t sense him.
Only this past week has it dawned on me the memories I’ve been releasing to God, one at a time, slowly at a pace that doesn’t overwhelm me or do me in. I thank God for revealing that to me. Because now I can see the lies for what they are, lies. The enemy doesn’t fight fair, and it’s a fight like it or not.


We can’t be absentee on the battlefield when Yeshua has called us to make disciples of all men and women, going to the dirty places, the hurt places, and being the feet upon the mountains that bring the Good News of Jesus.


This is ugly, this hurts, it sucks the big one, and the enemy has tried to silence me. I’m not going to shut up about God or about how He has loved on me when I can’t love on myself. He’s pulled my hands back from and away from ending my own life more times then many know.


The good news of Jesus is, He knows, He cares and damn it I’m not going to bow to depression, or suicidal ideation! Just as passionately as I’d give my life for God, that and then some He’s passionate about me living out the pages yet to be filled in the book of my life written by me, read and reread by the Ancient of Days in His courtroom library. (I’m going to be in heavens record keeping law libraries for a long time when I graduate to heaven.)

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The Parable of the Puppy Part 1

Once there was a very loving girl who sold all she had to buy a puppy. Day one was exciting but by the evening Hannah was exhausted. Bella was a lovely puppy and afraid her first few days and nights in a new place that she was not familiar with.

Hannah patiently and positively kept encouraging Bella and kept cleaning up messes armed with more than 600 poopy bags Hannah was prepared to help Bella learn how to poop outside and not in her new home.

For you see when we are God’s Children spiritually He potty trains us, He picks up after our messes and mistakes many of which we wonder if we’ll ever make it from milk to meat, from pooping inside God’s House or by ‘casting all our poops upon Him because He cares for us.’

The Bible deals much with poop in fact when Israel sinned God often compared Israel’s unfaithfulness to poop, like a bad smell burning in His Nostrils. They never were housebroken out of stiffnecked pride. So God gave them over to a harsh and hateful kingdom. In the same way, these growing pains with Bella are only for a season.

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Bella my new puppy dog

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Are You as committed to spreading love?, Christian Living, God is Good, Holy is the Lamb, honest, Unapologetic, Unashamed Love for God

God Defines Me

There is a keeping of faith brothers who dwell together, one runs his course and passes off his baton off to the next runner. I was at a memorial service today and it was such a lovely thing to see a faithful life live and now to be known as he is known.

The biggest lie is that servant-hood is slavery. No, in service comes great joy which reaches deeper than feelings. Joy is shut up in the bones of those whom God has kissed.

Our life kiss back to Him is to tell upon the mountains the wonderful things He has done for us and the things freedom cannot help but express.

Even when nothing is said, light shines through and bears witness of God’s Love.

The plural many-sided God trumps the dull singleness of sin.

A life freed from the grave is worth more than gold. As a brand plucked from the fire is one on fire for the Lord.

All will come to see one soul passionately ablaze for God.

This Love is beyond written description and deepens with Him as a time to maturity for resurrected bodies merge with our souls in the age to come.

The reason beauty is worshiped is that human hearts long for that eternal beauty that crown of life awarded to those who run their race well.

The single lopsidedness and ‘depth’ of sin leads to death, hell and the grave.

Whom a person serves before they die, they shall serve eternally.

I personally know the struggle of the flesh and what it wants daily as Paul said ‘I’ die what I want I overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony and don’t love my life to death.

What I want is daily nailed to that execution stake, I don’t turn my hand back and away from the plow that the Lord has for me but I press up and onward to the higher calling.

I challenge fellow servants, repent, repent; turn from your evil ways and turn to the God who just longs to love on you.

I guarantee you will be persecuted by forces that seek your elimination. But, greater is He in me than the enemy of this world system.

One repents as a lifestyle, as a life choice.

I refuse the allow labels placed on me to shape me. God defines me, He leads me. He rescues me. I breathe in His name and breath out praises to Him.

Sometimes only I can say ‘help God’ and I am enough and accepted by Him, I accept me. What others think doesn’t rock my world, only Yeshua has my heart rock solid on fire for Him.

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Walking With God

Enter through the narrow gate. [Because] The gate is wide and the road is wide [broad; spacious; or easy] that leads to hell [ destruction; ruin], and many people enter through that gate. But the gate is small and the road is·narrow [or difficult; hard] that leads to true life. Only a few people [And there are few who] find that road. Matthew 7:13-14

Yeshua is the gatekeeper and walking out life as a Christian is difficult, but He has overcome the world and walks through the fire with those that are brave enough to take His hand.

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Eritrea: How do we understand the cross?

Dr. Berhane spent 11 months in prison for his Christian faith and work; he watched friends and fellow prisoners led away to execution. But he also saw God’s hand at work as fellow prisoners accepted the gospel message and turned their hearts toward Christ. Dr. Berhane tells us what God taught him through dark days of suffering and how he prepared himself to face persecution. Finally, he’ll update listeners on the current situation for believers in Eritrea and share specific ways to pray for that African nation.

 

 

 

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Are You as committed to spreading love?, bible, blog post, Blog Posts, Christian Living, Daddy God Will Carry You, God is Good, honest, Personal Post, Personal Thoughts, Poem

My Soul Longs

Your Heart turns over,

Your sympathy extends.

Your North Wind opens,

Your Wings sing me in.

Thank You God;

Your Heartbeat I feel.

Your Grip is snug,

Your Touch I steal.

Written this morning 7/19/16

 

I’ve been through the grief of losing my dog piled on-top of recent events etc. and just it’s been heavy.

God’s got me, He sews  me into His Side beneath His Wings.

Real life pain, God carrying me through this valley until I dance on the high places with hinds feet.

I earnestly long for others would take the time to spend with the Lord.

I want to share the Love He gives away so freely.

But we have choice, dear readers I encourage you to seek the Lord. He said ‘blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.’

It’s true, call upon the Lord from the depths of who you are.

These are not just poetic words, I type with a bitter sweet ache and tears of grief and yet a knowing that Daddy’s got me.

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Long Suffering

Long suffering is choosing not to blow your top when your grandmother comes into home in state of emergency wanting her laptop fixed because you are the ‘go to family IT.’

This is called Love. (And Oh is it difficult.)

It’s also setting boundaries when you physically or emotionally cannot be or do for someone when they ask.

Saying No is just as important as saying yes.

Yeshua said, let your yes be yes and your no be no.

Let your words be few, let your actions speak louder then what you verbalize.

Be an individual of your word, make your word you bond.

Be as well-advised as a serpent but gracious as a dove.

Be a wise person who sees peril coming and avoid it, don’t be idiotic and pass into destruction.

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