blog post, Blog Posts, honest, I need sleep, Personal Thoughts, Poem

I Taste

Palms that sing to touch, kisses sting too much.
Fire on my lips, holy ghost spit, holy hunger split.
Eyelids heavy yet can’t sleep.
Hunger hurt can’t keep.
1/3 cup of sugar makes a blue face.
1/2 teaspoon of high half-baked.
Tears taste like salt,
Mine a scarlet fault.
Haunting “XO” kiss hug,
Recall warm womb of blood.
I can still trace the scars that killed me,
Can still be tempted by the shrill need.

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blog post, Blog Posts, Choose you this day, honest, I need sleep

The greatest view of the past 

Music is the one thing that connects my soul to memories.
Silverchair reminds me of gut wrenching nights and self inflicted red soaked bed spreadsheets and too much ephedrine diet pills half out of my run on sentence mind.

Elliott smith reminds me of rose marching bands with the only muck left after the party being the long long long vomit in the kitchen sink with shadows pacing the floor of a fond farewell.

Alice In Chains reminds me of a tollbooth collector nightmare beckoning to feast upon sores that make a living milking scars.

Many other artists, lyrics, songs and intonations blend into a: ” Plea away, let the cables sleep darling”

I threw out depressions music once before and listen it still echos.

It’s why worship music is the only thing spinning these days, to keep away the life I walked away from. 

Be careful little ears what you hear, for the Father up above is looking down in love.

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blog post, Blog Posts, I need sleep, Poem, Prose

The Branks

Being is the Noun; Form is the adjective.

Matter is the Noun; Motion is the Verb.

Wherefore hath Being clothed itself with Form?

Wherefore hath Matter manifested itself in Motion?

Answer not, O silent one! For THERE is no “wherefore”, no “because”.

The name of THAT is not known; the Pronoun interprets, that is, misinterprets, It.

Time and Space are Adverbs.

Duality begat the Conjunction.

The Conditioned is Father of the Preposition.

The Article also marketh Division; but the Interjection is the sound that endeth in the Silence.

Destroy therefore the Eight Parts of Speech; the Ninth is nigh unto Truth.

This also must be destroyed before thou enterest into The Silence.

Aum.

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Personal Play List

The first track is a mix of a recent Mercy Multiplied podcast description of Self Harm, with a fade out to a cover of Elliott Smith’s ‘See You Later.’ The Second track is Bear’s Den ‘Stubborn Beast.’

Third track is Elliott Smith’s ‘Between the Bars’ Orchestral. The fourth track is a live recording of Daughter’s ‘Smother.’  Fifth track is a cover of Tori Amos ‘Concertina’ by myself on the guitar.

Track six is Elliott Smith’s lesser known song ‘Melodic Noise.’

The seventh track is Bethel Music’s instrumental of ‘Seas of Crimson.’

The eighth and final track is Amanda Cook’s ‘The Voyage’ to close out the entire musical idea of this personal play list.

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Stop Holding On and Just Be Held

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Much thinking about the ‘fear’ of ‘big xyz’ falling where it may and letting the dust settle…Then I remember that I have a hope that isn’t meant to be kept silent or to myself, but shared person to person…

I have done my part and then some as a citizen of the united states IE. writing letters, calling people, being encouraging when I wrote and when I called but also presenting issues and what I believe to be the solution to them and wishing blessing from God onto those I wrote or called…

I still continue to do my part, but often am called ‘higher’ as a citizen of Heaven first and foremost…

Lately I’ve been in a funk, more lethargic then usual and the fight to even get out of bed has been difficult in the last two weeks, and I realize that when the basic things become a fight, that in my own strength I cannot take another step…

But allowing myself to be held by God and let go of the things that I am trying to keep together, but allow them to fall into place in God’s arms…

Isn’t it funny when you make the effort to truly change for the better that the uphill climb and the ‘get up and fight’ some days is just not there…

That lets me know that something is correct and to lean on the Lord even more…

This is a bit of an unguided ramble post and honestly I’ve been out of energy in the last few days…

refreshing comes from God and Him alone, and many days it’s minute by minute…

Let the pieces fall where they may and fall into the bed of grace God has prepared for you,

make time for God and fight for that time because once you get alone with God and even give an effort that is not that much when you don’t have the fight in you, He will lift you up to be refreshed (take as long as you need.)

Prayers for energy to get into God’s presence daily would be greatly appreciated… 

Thank you bloggers 🙂

From the bottom of my being I hope that each one of you find, discover and uncover the God of Israel, come to the knowledge and the Truth of Him who so loves you He gave of His life to totally change radically alter history and radically alter your own future into something that becomes beauty from the ashes you have now…

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Blog Posts, I need sleep, Poem

Christmas 2014 Poem

Mind won’t shut off,

Or rest this night.

Thoughts scattered,

and put to flight.

Events bother,

toss my head.

Shots scatter,

another dead.

Quote scriptures,

to calm my brain.

“Oh Holy Night,’

Down the drain.

10:30 am-tired still,

Drag through day,

half awake-shrill.

 

Note: With the mind God has given me, when it focuses on the news of the day more or less my thoughts can’t shut off and I am held hostage in my mind over the destruction caused by the enemy. 

For this reason God has been showing me how He turns things meant for evil into good. But I know that I can’t dwell there, it’s not good for my mental and soul state.

We all have areas to stay clear from, this would be mine due to my big heart. Now guarding my heart in the sense of going ‘OK Hannah you’ve had enough of this, watch something funny, go do something for someone else etc.’ 

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