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A new dog

We adopted our 1st dog in 2002, a Brittany Spaniel,as a present for our son, Jonathan, for his 10th birthday. Little did we know that Minnie would be part of our oldest daughter’s healing as she struggled through more than a decade of anxiety, depression, an eating disorder, self- harm and an eventual diagnosis of high functioning autism. Minnie was her best friend and our families “ therapy dog”. She lived a full life and endeared herself to even the most hesitant of animal lovers. She was truly our 6th family member. Last summer,we sadly said goodbye to her and have grieved her loss for the past 18 months. As Hannah has moved through the stages of her healing and growth, she has come to realize that her love for her dogs is one way she relates to and connects with other living things ( humans). Having a dog has also reduced her anxiety and depression. Unfortunately, with Kim in school full time and Larry starting his own business,we can not afford to fund her adoption expenses. Can you help make her adoption dreams come true? We found a wonderful Brittany breeder near Charlottesville, VA and he has several Brittany’s up for adoption at $600/male and $650/ female. She has stated, “ I don’t want anything else for Christmas, Hanukkah and my Birthday for the next several years but a dog!”

Hannah’s Dog Gofundme

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Gastric Sleeve

On the 31st of October 2017, I had a sleeve gastrectomy done.

This was after two years of deliberation and after 10 months of kickboxing.

When they reached my organs there wasn’t any fat in my liver or organs! That working out did something, it got me in shape to heal better and be prepared mentally and physically for this journey.

Granted I’ve gone from 100 mph to 10 mph if that, but it was 2/3’s my stomach removed for good.

This is a tool, a very powerful weight loss tool. It’s not the ‘easy way out’ nor is it a ‘cure all’ 10 years down the line I will be the 1 out of 6 that does not regain the weight because I’ve done the hard work beforehand.

It’s got to come from within you, the choice to live well.

The choice to say yes to not going overboard, the choice to not give up even after all else has been exhausted.

I did all I could in my power to get this weight off and didn’t come by this choice to have surgery overnight. And I’m glad I didn’t, it gave it time to sink into my bones the choice to choose health for life. 

I will say that God has been by my side to help me as I’ve been healing, it’s been hellish somedays. But on the whole, I’m day 17 post op and feeling more myself daily.

It’s weird to not workout like I used to but again I’ll get there this isn’t about a sprint but about healing well and getting good eating habits in place.

Heck good habits and attitudes in place.

The first year is like training wheels for your stomach and all else, it’s not a cake walk.

No carbs for the 1st six months to maximise weight loss. No fruit, 64 oz. of water a day, protein shakes to start off with and now I’m in the soft mush food stage.

100 grams of protein daily, 2 multivitamins, 3 calcium chews, b12 and biotin sublingual. It’s hard work after the ‘wow you’ve lost so much weight’ fades away and things return ‘to normal’ where is ‘my new normal’?

So as I’m finding my balance in this dizziness I just thought I’d update on how I’ve been doing. Pretty damn well, God is good and yielding to what He has for my life will continue to produce fruit. Taste and see that He is indeed Good. 

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Past Self

I’m the pretty thing that time forgot, I’ve been left to sing and rot.

I unmarked, the one you miss, I’m the closing clawing fist.

I’m a soul to those of foe, once seen back to and fro.

Deuce deranged, tetrad missed.

Wailing mess, silent twist.

Remember the time, we use to dance?

You the stab and I the chance?

Shredded arms in shifting skin;

Dressing gown of braided sin.

Yes you the thing that I forgot,

You the act unlearned, untaught.

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Lovely One

Tussled bed sheets, a smile with praise that drips as honey from my mouth.

Lord most High and Lauded One, most affectionately tender, sweetly bold in Your zeal over my heart.

Your Hands caress my heart, I see in my mind’s eye, You reclining beside me.

I see Your Hands stroke my mouth, ‘sing my darling only songs to Me.’

So envious yet gracious Your Eyes are; They have a Fierce Fire in them and yet in the dark they clear my face.

You are aglow about me.

As written by David: “Let His faithful followers erupt in praise, singing triumphantly wherever they are, even as they lie down for sleep in the evening.” Psalm 149:5

There are not any words to draw the way in which you extract my praise, the way you make love to me, the way you capture and enclose my heart, the way I climax in your Spirit.

As Paul put “he was caught up to heaven and heard things so astounding that they couldn’t be uttered in language, things no earth-born is allowed to express.” 2 Corinthians 12:4

I’ve seen the heavens and the praises of You God lifted high and above, Your trio seats and yet so much more in my mind’s eye.

Indeed, Lord, You are my lover.

My bosom is ruined for You alone.

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I Tire of You

I’ll knit some tubing to,

Drain your Blotto fumes.

I’ll sort savage tidings,

From your forked falsehoods.

Vessels of hell dust,

First blood’s drawn.

Bottles slogged,

Askew and fall.

Bitterness your fact,

Regurgitate lack.

Your self-justification,

Torrent of cop outs.

Return like a man,

And shut your rancid mouth.

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New Picture, and News


Let’s hear it for short hair in this freaking heat!

I will be having my gallbladder taken out this coming Monday the 25th of July.  After about 8 weeks or two months I will then be having my gastric sleeve. Love the surgeon I have, she will not do both the sleeve and the gallbladder at the same time. To me it speaks to her character and care as a surgeon and I feel very confidant going under the knife with her. Plus as I’ve mentioned in other posts I’ve gotten to know the weight loss clinic staff for over 8 months now.

I’ll be recovering the first week or so with just liquids and no fat. Those of you that have had your gallbladder taken out you know what I’m talking about.

Exercise has been minimal for a few reasons. Firstly, I have not wanted to aggravate the mussels that are now healed from the spasms. They hurt like all get out. Walking has been the go to, or workout DVD’s in doors. I’ve put my gym membership on hold until October 2016 due to both of the surgeries and healing up.

When I finally gradually do start going back to the gym I am investing in two or three personal trainer sessions. I’m not sure what I did to pull something in my buttock and lower back but best to avoid it in the future.

It’ll be a good while before I start lifting weights again post op. I’ll be starting slowly I imagine and listening to my body etc.

If I do plan on walking outside it’ll have to be at freaking 5 am… :-/

I deep cleaned my room this afternoon, pain in the rear but all the dog hair, human hair dust etc. is now gone and I can just chill in my room while I heal up.